Psychostick – Space Vampires vs. Zombie Dinosaurs in 3D

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Rock Ridge Records

Review by Rick (The Fish-Man) Ossian

(read at your leisure, discretion, or your own risk)

First of all, let me just say that I had never really, truly heard humourcore/comedy rock before.  Oh, sure, I’ve heard bands that make that fatal, final attempt at what would normally pass for something vaguely humorous, just to milk a few laughs from the audience.  But I have, indeed, heard the true masters of the ‘genre’ today.  Psychostick are my NEW favourite band.  Second of all, if you’ve never heard them before, at this point you should find some on the web or go BUY the album, as it will undoubtedly make you laugh your collective arses off, not to mention rock your entire day, as it has mine.

Whew!

Wow, what a sentence!

Finally, I will no doubt mention some of the various and sundry things that a review normally does for someone or for something.  It provides them information, for one.  I will tell you all about the blokes that are making the jokes and slamming their instruments (quite well, I might add) directly — just give me a second.  Reviews also normally tell one about where the band comes from, what label they are on, etc., etc. Patience, sweet, lovable punters – I will get to ALL of that directly.

Psychostick are a quartet that has arrived to the musical/comical world via Tempe, Arizona, yes, sir, right here in the good ol’ United States of (spit, snort, loogie) America.  They are composed of Rawrb on vocals and various sound FX, I believe, The J on guitars, Schmalex on drums and Matty J “Moose” on bass.  You can contact them on the various web venues available to most folks in the entire world, no less, such as Facebook, YouTube, etc. – you get the picture.  Have you hear and/or seen the video for ‘Obey the Beard‘? It is presented below for your enjoyment, and in the opinion of your humble reviewer it is not only hysterically hilarious, it will rock your face off!!

While you are watching the video, I should probably mention that there ARE others, as well – in fact, I believe most of the tunes can be listened to or watched simultaneously via YouTube.  In Premature Intoxication.(Intro.), which is basically just laughter and various sound FX, we are given MORE than just an introduction. This is Preparedness for Psychostick 101, baby — and if it isn’t, then the 2nd track Welcome to the Show (Fuck), definitely is.  It is at this point that you distinctly realize that you are dealing with no ordinary band here.  You are dealing with the MOST un-fucking-ordinary band on the planet.  Welcome to the Show should be the music tape that you hear – you know the one, the song that they play over the P.A./loudspeaker system so all the punters know that there may be a short soundcheck soon, then on with the show, you know the deal.  I realize I am cursing a lot, and I don’t NORMALLY do that on here, it being a family venue and all — but I just couldn’t help myself after hearing the track.

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Track #3, Sadface, is pure, unadulterated ‘don’t give a fuck’ attitude, as far as a type/genre for a song. It basically tells whoever is listening that it doesn’t matter, because the world is going to continue to evolve/revolve any way – no matter whether you stubbed your toe, lost a friend, etc. It simply DOESN’T matter – at least, any way NOT to Psychostick during this particular tune.

Because Boobs is probably going to make every man on the planet who hears it laugh his head off.  You may even hear a few female chuckles or titters in the mix. Intervention For a Good Mob, again, will most likely elicit guffaws, chortles, even gutbusting belly-laughs.  Hate Times Eight will teach you new ways of hating, just in case you needed any. It may also make you laugh. If it doesn’t, then you don’t really have a metal sense of humor.  I’m sorry, it’s just that easy.

Track #7 is titled It’s Just a Movie, Stupid.  I call it ‘Bullshit’.  I played it for my 15-year-old this morning to put him in a good mood before going to school.  It worked.  Just listen. You will understand.  For those of you parental units who don’t believe that Movie is appropriate for 15-year-olds, I sincerely apologize.  Nope, I take that back. Just kidding. HA!!

Political Bum is about ‘that guy’ – did I mention ‘that guy’. You WILL get to meet him if you are wise enough to follow The Fish-Man’s advice and LISTEN to or WATCH Psychostick.  It’s also about the person who That Guy (next tune – #8 now, keeping track?) talks to about politics – or it can be, if you’d like.  That Guy meets a man from a commercial on television in a bar, of all places, and he talks about ‘That Beer Song‘ — you know the one that utters the phrase ‘beer is good and stuff’?  Well, if you haven’t ever met THAT GUY, you are about to.  I have met that guy – did I mention that I can relate to every character in this melee?  In particular My Clingy Girlfriend, which we shall get to in a moment. Don’t jump ahead of me, now, punters.  I’m typing as fast as I can and my right wrist is sprained.  Have a little patience, please?

Six Pounds of Terror is either a kitten/cat, or a Pomeranian, or the pair – one or the other, and the sound FX sort of coincide with these critters.  Funny stuff.   Methane Crescendo has been the subject of everyone’s conversation(s) at times, and if it hasn’t, then, as Rawrb says, ‘somebody’s lying’… If you haven’t figured out by now what this particular track is about, then you only need to listen.

My Clingy Girlfriend starts out innocently enough, but it soon turns into a situation that we’ve ALL experienced.  Ladies, this means you too. We’ve ALL had the clingy/stalker girlfriend or boyfriend — don’t lie to yourselves.  I had one that ended up, well, you don’t really want to know what she ended up doing to me… Oh, you do?  Well, put it this way.  I distinctly recall suspecting her of sabotaging one of my many wonderful vehicles (kind of a gearhead here, sorry) just so that she could arrange to drop me off and pick me up from work.  She knows who she is, and I have proof that she ‘arranged’ it (sabotage and all).  Trust me, they ARE out there waiting for you.

The Root of All Evil features a dental hygienist(female) who assists a dentist (the doctor will see you now) who makes you think that everything is going to be okay – then the drilling and the other assorted devilry that goes along with dentistry begins.  Let’s just say it ain’t pretty, but it damn sure rocks and makes you laugh simultaneously.

Numbers (I Can Only Count to Four) is hysterically hilarious hijinks (check out that triple there?), basically in reference to when the drummer is counting off the beginning of a tune ( I THINK So- not sure).  Did I mention that it distinctly recalls the drum riff from “Bodies” (Let the Bodies Hit the Floor) by Drowning Pool? It is great fun.

The final track, Duh, Of Course We Did Outtakes features all of the above-mentioned characters (dental hygienist, THAT GUY, etc.), and is, again, all in good fun.  Did I mention that these guys ROCK like they were/are possessed, or something?  It really is that good.  Can I just give it 5 triple stars and walk away?  Of course I can.  I am the Fish-Man.  Go out and support/buy Psychostick schwag NOW, and oh please please come to my town and do a show.Please? I will pay good money, and get everyone I know to do the same.  Damn I love this band!!

*****/5

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