Review by Suzi H
Minions Readers come closer and let Auntie Elfie tell you a story…….
Once upon a time there was a very angry young woman who liked to listen to Heavy Metal. One day, in her meanderings through music, her ears were assaulted by a glorious cacophony of sound led by a woman of tiny stature with a big voice. And lo, our heroine discovered Lacuna Coil and female-fronted Metal and Karmacode and Comalies made her very happy indeed.
Many years passed and the angry young woman grew into a much more even tempered music journalist. On a particularly memorable day she was given an assignment to interview one of the members of Lacuna Coil who were on tour with Paradise Lost, and so with great excitement the young woman went to The Roundhouse in that suburb of iniquity known as Camden and had a lovely chat with Cristiano ‘Pizza’ Migliore. He told her that by the next Summer, Lacuna Coil would have released a new album. And our pink haired, pierced reporter did the Heavy Metal Happy Dance of Glee and waited for the day when this no doubt groundbreaking and exciting musical offering would appear in her inbox.
So it came to be that the rockers from Italy produced an album. And the copy of it landed in the inbox of our reporter. And she played it once with great glee. And then she played it a second time just to make sure her ears had not deceived her.
And then she left it a week, and played it a third time to make sure she really wasn’t imaging it. Then the weeping started. For all her hopes had been shattered and her greatest fear had come true.
Lacuna Coil had produced an album that was not only less than spectacular it was BORING. The first track Nothing Stands In Our Way was quite good, and had almost elicited a nod but the rest of the album failed to raise a foot tap never mind a headbang.
Then the music reporter was very sad because she wanted to go to Bloodstock and had been excited to see Lacuna Coil live again, and now she was going to have to watch a set full of boring songs and not be able to get her mosh on and that would be dull. Because no one can mosh to a set of the same track played over and over again for an hour which is what listening to Broken Crown Halo is like.
And to top it all off, the music reporter’s husband, who did not like Heavy Metal AT ALL, said “this is a brilliant album I really like it“. So the journalist glared at him, and said that it proved her point and went and listened to Machine Head instead.
So there you go
minions Readers- if you would like to listen to the same track over and over again for an hour or so buy this album. If not, just go and listen to Dark Adrenaline and pretend this never happened.