Review by Rick Ossian
For those of you who get about half way through this review and realize something different is going on, it is! I decided to shake things up a bit on my birthday by using a temporarily different rating system, if you will. Oh, I will still give the overall recording a number (out of a possible 5), but for each song on this particular recording I intend to rate it with a beer (which is highly appropriate, given that you’re reviewing a Tankard album, Rick. Excellent idea, old lad! – Ed) ! That’s right, you’ve guessed it – and the quality of the beer is directly proportional to the quality of the tune. Read on, my friends! Of course, you do so at your own risk…
We start things out with a Heineken of sorts; for those of you who DO enjoy the occasional brew, you know then that this is a fairly kick-ass number. I refer to as apt of an opener (at least title-wise) as the track War Cry. This lovely number features a sinister opening with a lead guitar solo (of course), and then chugging fast riffage. There are references to Afghanistan, Somalia (2 targets!) and Pakistan. There is also a cool jam at the 2:40 mark, then another guitar solo at the 3-minute mark.
Fooled By Your Guts is more of a Michelob-level tune, but nonetheless a tasty little jam. It will remind those of us of that time wherein we learned this particular lesson. Frank (bass) and Olaf (drums) get a good workout on this one. It may only be in way of preparation for the next number, however.
Next up we get the title track, and it is most likely about a Moosehead or so. Maybe even TWO Mooseheads! It is some pretty heavy stuff, even dinosaur, plodding stuff at one point. However, at about :50 they kick things in, and it becomes sort of a thrashy melee. There is also some super doomy, Sabbath-y sludge at about 3 minutes in, and of course the requisite guitar solo at about the 4-minute mark! Very nice!
Riders of the Doom is most likely a George Killian’s Red, if you will. It is by turns thrashy (again) and menacing, almost as if to say we are treading Sabbath waters again. My wife looked up for a minute during the first listen/run on this one, and said ‘Honey, is this something you’re going to review?’ To which, of course, I replied, ‘yes’. She responds, ‘sounds like cookie-cutter metal to me!’ I would have to disagree with her to a certain extent. Yes, these roads have been traveled before, but they still sound pretty good to me!
Hope Can’t Die finds us at the recording’s half-way point, and I’d say it is about a medium-heavy Budweiser ( or any Anheiser-Busch product, for that matter). Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to say that it is REALLY bad, or that Budweiser is really bad! I’m just saying that this is more of a workman-like style beater. It is drinkable, or listenable, if you like! There is a heavy breakdown at 1:50, then a jam at 3:20, then a guitar solo at 3:35. The bass player (Frank) teases you as if he is going to close, but then he just blends in to the jam at the end. Singer Gerre does himself proud on this one. So does Andy the guitar player!
No One Hit Wonder is probably about the level of a Bass Ale. I really like Bass Ale. This is great stuff here. Drink up, me hearties! Yo ho ho and all that. Heavy, riffing, ripping thrash right up there with the best of the brew contained herein. Breakfast For Champions, which I sense is actually ABOUT beer (about time, right?), is most likely a Leinenkuegel; you pick the flavor you prefer. The main riff is extremely cool, and the tune kicks in at about :30. There is a double-time section, then a jam at 2:50, then a guitar solo (surprise!) at 3 minutes in.
Enemy of Order is a heavy, quick-riffing piece. I would dub this one a Samuel Adams. That is my dad’s favorite beer, by the way. Mine, not so much, no – but it IS good. Good enough to drink! Sort of a cool, thrashy jam, reminded me of Anthrax at certain junctures. I caught myself singing along to the chorus towards the end, which is a very good sign…
Clockwise to Deadline is probably about a Foster’s Lager. It is more of the heavy, fast stuff, and towards the end there is some ragged coughing. Kind of makes you wonder if maybe Gerre has had a bit too much to imbibe, perhaps? The closer is, thankfully, at the end. I would have initially dubbed this one a Molson’s Golden Ale. Good, but repetitive – get the drift? I knew that you could.. It’s called The Party Ain’t Over (‘Til We Say So). It DOES feature a pretty cool main riff, but the lyrics get sorta old towards the end.
All in all, R.I.B. is a fine tribute to the drink of the day. I believe I will give it top marks! Have a good drink/listen!