Why we despise Fifty Shades Of Grey

I’m very glad to say that I’m definitely not the only one who despises Fifty Shades Of Grey.  I’ve never read it, and I’m never going to.  It’s badly written, badly researched (as in, it hasn’t been at all) fanfic.  Even worse, it’s Twilight fanfic.

It was bad enough that the books were published and the hype machine got behind it.  The fact that someone who (blindly obviously) knows nothing about BDSM completely misrepresented an alternative type of sexuality is worse.  Worse yet… well, let’s hear from someone who knows, The Wyrd Ways Rock Show and Burning Angel’s very own Romance:

It’s sending the message to women that it is OK to change the sexual appetite of a man. It’s made Christian look like a villain simply because he likes unconventional sex play. It’s telling women that it’s OK to lie about what they do and don’t like all to gain the affection of a man.  BDSM is beautiful but BOTH partners should be willing and enjoying the experience.

Just like Twilight sends the message to young girls that it’s romantic when a man stalks you or takes the starter out of your car so you can’t leave without him.

The subliminal and underlying messages in the these movies is part of a disgusting trend from male society to indoctrinate our young women into this male dominated world.

There’s no way on this Earth you could possibly call Romance a prude (and the “prudishness” argument is one that is trotted out most often against those who dare to face the 50 Shades juggernaut).  She’s not the only one, either.  Nadia Styles, Mercedes Carrera and Nina Elle put together this video for Funny Or Die.

If you want to watch some kinky sex, there’s plenty of websites you can go to for just that.  Kink.com, for example.  Even a cursory look at those sites shows that for the BDSM community, it’s all about consent.  If there’s no consent, everything stops —but that’s not the end goal of the community’s sexual activities. Because it’s a community that people choose, one with strong norms and mores, it can embrace a set of sexual values, like exploration, play, and experimentation.

But for most everyone else—the average 50 Shades reader and filmgoer included—this isn’t the case.

The Ana lets Christian do whatever he likes to her purely because she wants to shag a billionaire.  She’s not interested in BDSM.  She just wants to shag a billionaire and is willing to do whatever she has to to get that.  That’s not OK.  That’s not a good message to be passing on.  The message Ana is putting forward is that so long as she gets what she wants (namely Christian Grey), it’s OK to cheat, lie and manipulate the object of that obsession into doing what she wants.  Pure selfishness.  It also says (to echo Romance’s point), that Christian Grey, and by extension the entire BDSM community, because they don’t subscribe to social norms when it comes to sexual activity, are evil, depraved perverts who need “rescuing” from their filthy, disgusting ways.  That means it’s “for his own good” for Ana to manipulate and lie to him, so long as she gets what she wants.  His needs and wants are irrelevant.  She doesn’t really care about the man, she just wants the billionaire Christian Grey for herself.

Not a good message.  At all.

Leave a Reply